In our daily life, there are awkward situations that we want to avoid, but have to face. Some conversations are important, yet they have potential risk, so that you unconsciously put them off. However, according to past experience, procrastination doesn’t solve anything. Getting things started may encounter difficulties, however, the situation will be open for discussion and exploration afterwards.

Here are some tried-and-tested useful tips to help you deal with this kind of situation.

1

Listen to understand

For most people, talking is not to get the way out for their problems, but just to be heard. There are easy but effective ways to deal with this situation.

Instead of thinking about what to say next while the other person is speaking, just listen. Make sure you have understood by repeating what you have heard with empathy. Begin with something like:

“Have I got this right? You feel…”

Repeating people’s viewpoint back also makes people feel being heard and respected.

If you want to express your disagreement, try to first present the most positive aspects of the other person’s view, which helps both of you to find common ground. And then you can express your different perspective a little, as the other has already felt approved and respected. He may accept your disagreement and perspective smoothly.

2

Support, don’t “fix”

The person in trouble is often blurred by their motion. Helping them keep a distance to see their problems can help a lot. Instead of proposing ways to fix a problem, ask them if they have considered any solution or what advice they will give to someone else in similar situation. Oftentimes a person feeling completely stuck can give the great advice to their friends who are in the same situation.

3

Look after yourself

If you are left feeling unsettled by a conversation, remember to treat yourself kindly. Some people take five minutes to walk outdoors or to focus on their breath. These “mindful moments” help us to awaken ourselves.

Do not pick up other people’s burden. Compassionate conversation can help people to process their experiences, but it’s their job to find the solution. Avoid taking any side during the conversation to show your empathy which will bring you trouble later.