In our life, sometimes other people come to us for help, sometimes we need to give other people suggestions or have requirements. What would be more appropriate for us to do? That's what we're going to talk about.
It's easy for us to comfort other people by giving advice, but it usually backfires. When people come to us to talk about their troubles, they mostly seek for listening and understanding. They know what to do after they have calmed down. They have been given many similar suggestions and have searched online. What they really need is empathy, understanding, support and acceptance at that time, which means we do not need to give them advice.
As long as we are in workplace, we have to share our opinions and give suggestions. At this time, be aware of following points:
●Explore your motivation to give advice. Do you want to appear more authoritative than others and satisfy your narcissism, or do you have failed experience in this field and don't want others to make the same mistake?
● Recall the last time when you were sharing a challenge at work and someone chimed in to offer their opinion. Did you welcome their advice? Probably not.
●Most of the time our intention to give advice is good. However, every time when we are eager to give advice, we are unleashing our inner ‘advice monster’. It needs to be stopped, because we are likely to give wrong advice due to lack of understanding to the situation.
● The first step to stop the ‘advice monster’ is to pay attention to how quickly it appears. Another way to control the monster is to consider how your advice may reduce people’s confidence and autonomy.
●Ask questions to help people come up with their own solutions, rather than offering advice. This way is to respect people’s autonomy and it is easier to be accepted. If you really want to give your advice, it is better for you to paraphrase it with grace and dignity.